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authors, books, e-books, Joely Sue Burkhart, Raelyn Barclay, readers, reading, romance, sex, Tia Nevitt, writers, writing
Do you skip the sex scenes in stories?
If so, do you know why?
I’ve been reading romance since I was in high school (way too many years to mention). The sex has certainly gotten racier over the years. I can honestly say, in all those years, I never skipped a scene.
Then I started learning about this craft of writing. Perhaps, simple maturing makes us pickier?
I remember vividly the first time I skipped a scene. And I blame it all on Joely Sue Burkhart.
From the email I sent Joely~
You’ve ruined me for Tab B in Slot A romances with your transformative sex 🙂
I’m happily reading along. Hero has literal and figurative inner demons, nicely developed. Heroine fears her past, good layers. And then the sex scene…and a Joely Devil shows up on my shoulder.
What happened to their fear?
“What?”
He’s been having an inner dialogue about his demon hurting her if he has sex with her. She’s just seen his demon for the first time in the light of day. And they’re just having a grand ol’ time on the forest floor?
“Crap.”
*poke*
:points to page: “See, his brother mentions the change in their relationship.”
*raises eyebrow*
:ignores Devil on shoulder:
A few pages later…next day in story…
*poke, poke*
“What, now?”
Where’s the growth? The change? What’s the point?
:ignoring:
*poke*
:glares at Joely Devil:
You just skimmed.
“Did not.”
Did, too.
“I don’t skip or skim.”
*poke* You just did it again.
:looks at page: “Damn, I did.”
*Joely Devil sits, crossing ankles, and merrily swings legs*
“I’m going to have to get rid of half the books on my romance shelf.” :whine:
*whistling*
“Okay, I get it. You can go back to Joely now.”
Didn’t you get another bodice-ripper in the mail yesterday?
:headdesk:
Joely Sue Burkhart opened my reader eyes and sex scenes will never be the same for me again. That’s not a bad thing as a reader. It is, however, a challenge I strive to meet as a writer.
Because Joely has already done articles on this better than I ever could, I’ll refer you to her guest post on Tia Nevitt’s Writer Wednesday feature where she does a great overview plus has all the links (including a couple I had forgotten about).
Raelyn Barclay 
I was pondering this recently, from a writer’s perspective. I write mysteries, so I have less wiggle room genre-wise for an extended sex scene. But I write about characters with bodies and desires and bedroom — I write about their lives — and sex is an important part of their various lives. Which means I write a lot of sex scenes that don’t actually get published, but which are necessary for me as a writer to understand these people. Thanks for letting you little devil have some words.
I’ve never written a sex scene just to get into a character’s head but that could be a great technique. Thank you for sharing that. I hope you find the transformative sex articles interesting, they certainly opened my eyes 🙂
Thanks for stopping by Tina!
I’m certainly a bit more accustomed to steamy scenes or slowly accellarating scences that reach a Mt. Everest-type of climactic moment…bodice ripper is more my thing. Can’t say I’ve skipped a sex scene unless it’s clear the scene adds nothing to the story, nothing to the development of the relationship. I’ll have to give this transformative thing a look-see.
I hadn’t either Angela, LOL. But before learning about the transformative sex scene (one that moves the story forward or adds to the character) I could read a sex scene that added nothing but the tantalizing factor to a story. Now I can’t.
As a romance writer, I want my sex scenes to matter. If a reader skips it, I hope they’ll go “whoa, what did I miss?” and go back to read the scene.
Thanks for stopping by 🙂
This is so difficult as a writer. Thank you for the resource.
It is a challenge Ciara. I hope the articles give you some insight!
Thanks for stopping by!
I will read anything, LOL. I greatly prefer a transformative scene, that advances plot, but I’ll read it anyway without it. Even if the book I am reading is literally the most horrible book ever penned I will read the entire thing and not skip one word. I have a sick pleasure in being able to brag about just how bad the book I read was. And making fun of a bad sex scene is almost better than enjoying a good one.
As a writer I will only write a sex scene if it pushes the story forward. If I want them to have sex but it won’t change anything I fade to black. I could write a scene, but I think that’s where you get into Tab A Slot B stuff, so I don’t unless I have a really solid vision for what I want and need from the scene.
I actually think sex scenes are some of the most enjoyable scenes to write. I find other types of scenes much more challenging, like description of a room’s surroundings. But I think everyone has certain kinds of things that they feel they write well/poorly.
Really excellent post.
But you can usually see a train wreck before a sex scene comes into the picture, LOL, and I admit to doing that sometimes too. “How bad can this get?” 🙂
Where I find I’m putting books down is when the rest of the story is good but the sex scenes feel like they are in the story to tantalize only. If it’s one scene, I’ll just skim it but if there are more, well, I’m finding I don’t bother with the rest of the book. And I never used to do that…I’d finish anything and everything I picked up.
Growth? TBR pile too big? Lack of patience?
Thanks for stopping by Mary Kate!
Sometimes I read the sex scenes twice. LOL.
Actually, I only skim when I feel the author is padding, sensual or otherwise. I’d rather read a tight paragraph that tells me all I need to know than one loaded down with description just to reach a word count.
LOL, I’ll flag the good ones to go back to 😉
Amen, on the padding. And perhaps that’s the heart of it…the Tab A Slot B scenes don’t move the story forward and are just padding. There’s got to be emotion.
Thanks for stopping by Maria!
I tried to respond to this yesterday, but my internet was so spotty it never went through (unless you saw it like 10 times while I tried refreshing…sorry 🙂 ).
Anyway, I write YA so I haven’t written a sex scene (yet…not saying I never will, I just haven’t). But, I can agree that any scene needs to propel a story forward. And my stories do have romantic elements to them, but the romance needs to develop the plot and character, not just be romance for romance.
I have skipped/skimmed when I’ve read books with too much description with (what I thought) was no purpose.
Spotty internet must have been going around…I had problems for a couple days this week too 🙂
That seems to be the general consensus Erin though I have more patience with description.
Thanks for stopping by!
Pingback: Slippery When Wet : Writing a Sex Scene « Mary Kate Leahy's Blog
The post was so good I had to comment twice 🙂 It got me thinking about how I write sex scenes. With my first WIP I had nothing (even though it was a romance) and I’ve noticed that each book has a) more sex and b) less refined and more visceral. Instead of glossing over things I just say exactly what’s happening. Not sure if it’s an improvement or not.
I think every book has a different tone though, which dictates how the sex scene should work. If one of your characters in the scene is prone to describing other situations in coarse and/or honest language he isn’t going to really think of the sex scene in that glossed over, genitalia are his and hers pronouns way. Not that the pronouns style isn’t good. I’ve used it myself. But it doesn’t make sense in every situation.
Thanks for the post! It inspired me to write my own on the topic.
Mary Kate that’s the best compliment 🙂 I’m glad my post got you thinking. I agree each book has a different tone and the sex scene should reflect it. As long as that scene moves the story forward or develops the character(s) and isn’t gratuitous, I’m on board.
Off to check your post!